In the future lasers will: eat for us; cook for us; love for us. Currently, there is nothing you can do that a laser cannot do more efficiently.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Q & A

Buckle up; our first round of Lasers! Lasers! Lasers! Q & A is underway:

Q. How will I know when lasers have taken over?
-Deb, in Massillon.

A. You'll just feel it, Deb! Lasers are extremely willful things, and that willfulness can be picked up by those around them. In much the same way that we just "feel out" the lasers' intents when writing this blog, you too will know the exact hour of their coming and what you can do to best serve them.

Q. Are lasers smart? I always thought so, but my buddy keeps saying they're not. What's the deal?
-Richard, in Okinawa.

A. Lasers are very smart. It's a common misconception that they're not, that they lack 'sentience.' Your friend is not alone in his ignorance, Richard, nor will he be alone in his fate. Good question!

Q. Does it ever blow your mind to think that the slowest laser is faster than your fastest thought?
-Glen, in McKeesport.

A. All the freakin' time, Glen.

Q. How did this blog get started? Like, are you guys for real? I don't get it.
-Kim, in Terre Haute

A. Lasers are very much "for real," Kim, and so are we. This blog is the collobaration of several friends and coworkers who, in recent months, realized that the imminent evolution of society was to be predicated on the fact that lasers were superior to most things in current existence - people included. We felt that taking this shared view to the internet was the only natural course of action, and having had positive experiences with in the past, we chose this as our virtual home base. While we encourage as many readers as possible, and ask that those who do read take the information posted here as seriously as possible, we accept a certain degree of predetermination on the part of the lasers: what you do and what you care to believe now will have no bearing on the world to come.

Thank you to everyone who submitted questions! The response was great, and hopefully we'll be able to get to some of the ones we passed on into our next Q & A installment.

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