In the future lasers will: eat for us; cook for us; love for us. Currently, there is nothing you can do that a laser cannot do more efficiently.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

it's that time again...

...for Lasers! Lasers! Lasers! Q & A. Let's see what's in the old mailbag today.

Q. Hey guys, great blog. Wher ecan [sic] I get a laser? They seem so cool from what you guys are saying.
-Steven, in Mexico City

A. Lasers are indeed cool, Steven; and you're not alone in wanting one. However, it is currently unlikely that you, or most people interested in possessing their awesome power is actually worthy. Sorry about that. Good question, though!

Q. Where did lasers come from? or where do lasers come from? whichever question you feel is better.
-Phil, in Shadyside

A. I published both questions, Phil, because they're both good ones. Most people are unaware that lasers originate from a different place today, than they did just 55,000 years ago. Today, they are made mostly in laboratory settings, or on the production floor of a factory. However, this is, as I said, a recent development: originally, lasers came from the center of the universe! It's amazing that for all the change, lasers still remain relatively the same.

Q. How precise would an orbital weapon platform equipped with laser canons be? Like would it have to wipe out a city every time, or could it be more selective in its targetting?
-Suzyn, in the Bronx

A. I think you're referring to a Strategic Defense Initiative system, Susyn. This is something that we've made mention of multiple times, but haven't offered many details about. Is this technology possible? Yes. Would we be safer with it in place? Most certainly. Is it possible that the system could be commandeered by a new-intelligence (like the lasers, for example), and would this result in the destruction of the world as we know it? Probably, and debatable, respectively. Your question is a good one, Susyn, and my answer is this: if you like your neighbors but hate their beagle, a space-based laser grid would be able to silence the yappy dog with minimum human cost.

Q. For all the talk about how cool lasers are, you never talk about the inherent dangers involved in lasers. I have a friend who lost vision in her eye after misusing a laser. Children can read this site. Where's the disclaimer?
-Sidney, in Cairo

A. Your friend is a moron who got what she deserved. And we hope children read this site.

Great round of questions everyone! It's a shame I couldn't answer them all. Keep them coming, and check back to see if you make the next round of Q & A.

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