Lasers in the bible

"In the beginning Lasers created the heavens and the earth.
Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of Lasers was hovering over the waters.

And Lasers said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Lasers saw that the light was good, and Lasers separated the light from the darkness. Lasers called the light "day," and the darkness they called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

And Lasers said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." So Lasers made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. Lasers called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

And Lasers said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. Lasers called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters they called "seas." And Lasers saw that it was good."

-The motherfucking King James Bible


There's more, but it basically goes on like that for the rest of the week.